01-12-2007, 11:42 AM
No sabía si ponerlo aquí o abrir un tema, pero aquí están algunos datos sobre Chuck Norris, que el buen maurO debe conocer, creo que no los han publicado aún y, lo siento, están en inglés (tomado de chucknorrisfacts.com).
CHUCK NORRIS FACTS
• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
• Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
• Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
• Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
• Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
• Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
• Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
• A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
• In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
• Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
• As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
• One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
• When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
• Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
• Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
• Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
• Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
• Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
• Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
• Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
• Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
• "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
• Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
• When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
• There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
• Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
• Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
• For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
• Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven.
• Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
• Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
• There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
• Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
• Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
• Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
• Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb
CHUCK NORRIS FACTS
• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
• There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
• Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
• Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"
• Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
• Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
• Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Chuck Norris likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
• When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.
• A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
• In honor of Chuck Norris, all McDonald's in Texas have an even larger size than the super-size. When ordering, just ask to be Chucksized.
• Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.
• Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
• Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
• When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.
• Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
• For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one.
• Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
• If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
• It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
• James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
• Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.
• Chuck Norris is responsible for China's over-population. He hosted a Karate tournament in Beijing and all women within 1,000 miles became pregnant instantly.
• Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
• If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
• A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease, 2. Chuck Norris, 3. Cancer
• In a recent survey it was discovered the 94% of American women lost their virginity to Chuck Norris. The other 6% were incredibly fat or ugly.
• Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck Norris, he finds you.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
• As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And Chuck Norris."
• One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
• Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
• When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
• Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris’ sperm is so badass, he had sex with Nicole Kidman, and 7 months later she prematurely gave birth to a Ford Excursion.
• Chuck Norris can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
• Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
• When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
• Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
• Fact: Chuck Norris doesn't consider it sex if the woman survives.
• Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
• Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.
• Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
• "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
• Chuck Norris doesn't daydream. He's too busy giving other people nightmares.
• When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.
• There is no such thing as a lesbian, just a woman who has never met Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
• Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
• Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
• For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
• Chuck Norris actually built the stairway to heaven.
• Chuck Norris has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.
• Chuck Norris does not know about this website. If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
• There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Chuck Norris.
• Chuck Norris does know what Willis is talking about!
• Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
• Chuck Norris make onions CRY!!!
• Some people say that Chuck Norris is a myth. Those "some people" are now dead.
• Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb
Dooby dooby doo
Strangers in the Night by Frank Sinatra
Strangers in the Night by Frank Sinatra